September 14, 2012

Dear Devout Muslims

The Muslim Brotherhood (MB) is “demanding” on their website that the West criminalize assaults on Islam (story here). SO...

WHEREAS our Campaigner-in-Chief is out and about raising money for his reelection campaign (as details and body counts from the Libyan and Egyptian attacks were emerging, Mr. Obama flew to Las Vegas on Wednesday for a campaign fundraiser in front of a bobbleheads and cheering crowd); and

Egyptian protestors burn American flag.jpg
Egyptian protesters burn the US flag during a demonstration outside the US embassy in 
Cairo. Photo: Mohamed Abd El Ghany/Reuter

WHEREAS our Secretary of State and her cohorts at the State Dept are busy issuing incoherent statements;

NOW THEREFORE, here is our response to the MB (indeed, the entire Arab/Muslim world):

Dear Devout Muslims,

The MB and yourselves are hardly in a position to demand anything of the West, much less the US. Nevertheless, in the spirit of cooperation we’d like to offer the following suggestion: Before demanding that we criminalize "assaults" (of the verbal kind) on Islam, why don't you criminalize and punish assaults (of both the verbal and physical kind) being committed by followers of Islam and IN THE NAME of Islam, on Christianity, Judaism or for that matter any other religion? You devout folk have a nasty habit of vilifying, mocking, offending, demeaning, insulting, reviling and defaming non-Muslims on a daily basis, so until you fix it, don’t call us, we’ll call you.

BTW, note that we plan on demanding of our Campaigner-in-Chief and his administration, who serve at the pleasure of the American people, that they STOP defining deviancy down and prefacing every condemnation of Islamic terror with grandiose statements about:

• The greatness of Islam;

• Islam being the Religion of Peace, with a proud tradition of tolerance (no less!);

• Islam's many contributions to mankind (could you please forward us a list of said contributions in, say, the last millennium); or

• How the overwhelming majority of Muslims are "peace-loving, law-abiding individuals." No one is accusing ALL Muslims of being terrorists. That would be like saying that all Germans living in Nazi Germany were killers (although we can't help but wonder what kind of culture/society allows murderous movements to grow and flourish in its midst). So while you may claim that Islamic extremists are only a small percentage of Muslims, we'd like to remind you that only 7-10% of Germans were members of the Nazi Party.

Don’t ask us based on what, or the reasons for his belief, as we ourselves are still trying to figure out how anyone of sound mind could think of the current Commander-in-Chief as an expert on anything, much less national security/foreign policy.

As for that obscure YouTube video about you-know-who (the video that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is going around apologizing for), please note: Those of us who viewed the first 10 seconds of the video could see that no one with even a quarter of a brain could ever take it seriously. After all, the video was a real box office stinker (i.e., adolescent, amateurish, moronic, boring, etc.), so give us at least some credit for knowing it wasn't the reason for your barbaric convulsions of the last few days.

[You’ve probably heard by now that the imbecile who created/produced this piece of trash and called himself Sam BACILE, is nothing more than a convicted felon and scam artist living in California. His real name is Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, and he's apparently one of yours, i.e., an Egyptian Arab, although he belongs to one of your tolerant culture’s persecuted minorities – Coptic Christians. His (false) assertion that he was an "Israeli Jew" showed him to be little more than a gutless wonder ready to throw anyone under the bus, so don't come to us for any character references.]

We know the real reason for your savage fits is your innate hatred of the West (i.e., America). The American administration’s pathetic reaction to the murders and riots of the last few days; and the tentative reaction of the American people and lack of visible outrage (yes, we know our default position of always questioning what we did wrong makes us the brunt of jokes in your part of the world) only added fuel to the fire. But hey, we’ve got our own problems to deal with and don't have either the inclination or time to worry about offending your delicate beheading sensibilities.

So here’s a thought: Stay away from our friends and us, and we’ll stay away from you. Keep your devout malcontents at home, far away from us. Handle your own problems and don't come to us for help. And if you truly miss us, well, we'll always have the annual gathering of Cesspool Central (aka the UN General Assembly) to meet over a cup of coffee.

But please be forewarned: Mess with us or our friends, and we'll respond with disproportionate force. Think of us, if you will, as mad dogs, i.e., too dangerous to bother. If you do that, then we can all live in peace, love and harmony.


The Five Percent *

[* In case you were wondering, our name is based on Thomas Edison’s famous quote: “5% of the people think; 10% of the people think they think; and the other 85% would rather die than think.”]


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