This little news item is not so new (it's been circulating for quite some time now), but as our nation's airports devolve into government-sanctioned Groping Centers, I see no reason not to seriously think about implementing the security measures below.

Given the choice between:

(1) A TSA agent touching your junk, in search of something "suspicious" that could pose a national security; or

(2) A security device developed by the Israelis (see below), a people who've had much experience balancing the need for security (e.g., scores of dirtbags like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed et al) with the needs of a difficult and demanding flying public (think 5.9 million Ed Kochs/Mike Bloombergs of the world?!)...

...who/what would you choose?!

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Hot off the presses! Announcing....

AN ALTERNATIVE TO AIRPORT BODY SCANNERS

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners at the airports.

It's a booth you step into, which will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you have on your body.

They see this as a win-win for everyone, with none of the profiling BS, racial or otherwise. It would also eliminate the costs of a long and expensive trial, as justice would be swift. Case closed.

So picture this:

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system:

"Attention standby passengers — we now have a seat available on flight number 1342. Shalom, and enjoy your flight!"